This is one of the many feelings that every human being would have experienced at many times in his life. Surprisingly, most of us have probably been frustrated for similar reasons. Frustration really has no age limits. Everyone from a baby to a hundred years old experiences it. What differentiates people is what they do with this emotion. Is it always bad to be frustrated? Could it generate negative energy in you and backfire? Or could it really help you? While I speak of frustration helping you, I am not referring to the frustration experienced by a man sitting in a horse race when he has been repeatedly losing money or a man who simply buys the lottery and only hopes to win it.
I’m talking about circumstances where you might feel frustrated when you can’t accomplish something; when you feel like you’re tied down. In such circumstances, I try to let the frustration feed me. I try to build this energy to try to change the circumstance and make it favorable for me. I think it’s important to learn from babies and toddlers in such situations. Have you seen a baby frustrated by not being able to put his fingers in his mouth? When I saw my son struggling and crying because he couldn’t, I noticed that his frustration didn’t stop him from trying. Before we knew it, he was a licking pro (although I’m glad he doesn’t anymore). What he showed me was that we are naturally wired to get frustrated, so there is nothing ‘wrong’ with getting frustrated. However, part of our program also includes turning frustration into determination to succeed.
For those of you who are employed, you probably often find yourself in a frustrating situation. The reasons may be different, such as not being properly recognized; not highly respected; no growth; no team support; conflicting principles and thought processes; poor relationship with boss or team, etc. You are definitely not the first or only person in the world who is frustrated. So what do you do when you’re frustrated? Few things I try are just to take a break from the situation that is bothering me. If it’s work, take a couple of days off. Remember, out of sight is out of mind. That would give me some time to calm down and help clear my mind. That is not to say that the situation has changed and is now pleasant and not frustrating. It’s just to make me more capable of handling the same situation better. I believe in talking (which might explain why I’m seen as a chatterbox!), so I usually have a conversation about the situation with people I trust. In some situations, you need to be smart in choosing the person you talk to, and sometimes you need to be cautious.
Once I get it out of me, again I haven’t changed the situation yet, but getting it out helps me think about how I can change the situation. I believe that once we are calm enough to think, no situation would be bad. Then I try to understand why they put me in that situation in the first place. Then think: could I have done something different to prevent it? If yes, could you do it now to help me in the future? The moment when the senses are under control is when I feel like I can breathe. If I think I’m angry or frustrated, I feel short of breath, and aren’t there very limited things you can do when you’re short of breath? Once I start to think I plan my exit and try to change the circumstances in my favor. For example, if I don’t feel challenged enough at work, I feel frustrated. I feel very depressed for a while and then I gather my fuel and start looking for challenges myself. After all, opportunities don’t necessarily come to your door. This strategy has always helped me survive in difficult times.
Sometimes it’s harder to handle frustration in your personal life than it is in your professional life. This is partly because you may not always be able to take a break from the situation. So one may need a different strategy to approach and win. Right now, my spiritual inclination and my religious beliefs help me. Well, the basic principle is that it’s all for the best and just because I’m not bright enough to know what’s good about something beforehand doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You could be an atheist and still believe in this principle. In the Bhagavad Gita (it’s like the Bible in Hinduism), Lord Krishna says ‘you will get through this’ and that gives me strength. It suggests to me that there is an end to this situation and I will get out of it. Again, whether you are religious or not, God-fearing or not, there can be no reason why you don’t want to gather your hopes and look forward.
The law of nature is that there has to be a potential difference for something like air, water, or even current to flow. The same applies to life. When you feel frustrated for the right reasons, it helps you recognize that you have a journey to take and paths to travel. You have a destination to reach, if not, you may have been happy in your current place in life and not been frustrated. When you realize that you have to continue your journey, you can prepare for it and continue. Thus, frustration is a necessary evil. Would you rather use frustration as fuel or fuel frustration and burn out?