The Family Reunion is a deep and rich strategy that will help you stay on your parenting roadmap to success. The purpose of the weekly family gathering is to show appreciation; teach cooperation; distribute household contributions; express concerns, identify problems, and teach problem solving; and distribute the allowance.

Each week, the family meeting consists of four components that are covered in 20 minutes or less:

  1. appreciations
  2. Presentations
  3. Problem resolution
  4. benefit

appreciations

Appreciations are an opportunity for us to recognise, appreciate, and express our gratitude for the people we live with every day for the ways they contribute to our lives in positive ways.

Every meeting begins with insights that:

  • set the tone for the meeting
  • teach people how to give and receive appreciation
  • show family members how their individual character traits and contributions positively impact the family
  • Allowing our children to practice looking for the best in others.

Presentations

Children are going to have to learn to run their own households eventually, so we might as well invite them from the earliest ages to contribute to ours and take the time to train them. This way, when they’re 13, we won’t be yelling at the top of our lungs saying “Go do your own laundry!” and no one has ever shown them where the washing machine is. The input portion of the family meeting is a place for us to start making agreements about daily chores, so that children and parents can stop fighting all the time, and parents are not nagging and reminiscing.

The best way for your children to get into the habit of contributions and how to manage time is to have one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The key is regularity and that it be done daily.

Go in steps when teaching new skills. Be encouraging and supportive, and look for improvement and progress, not perfection.

Problem resolution

Parents often find themselves in the role of judge and jury member. Kids come up to them all day long and say things like, “Mom, so-and-so did this to me!” “Well, what did you tell them?” “Okay, well guys, you’re going to have to…” Five minutes later, she puts out that little fire and another kid says, “Mom, I don’t like it when…” How should we deal with it? that?” And after all day solving problems, the next day all those same problems come back because nobody can remember what the solutions were, nobody really agreed to go ahead with the solutions, so we found ourselves in this catch-22.This is your family’s chance to become a confident and competent problem solver.

I suggest that parents hang a large piece of paper on the wall and at the top of the paper say, “I have a problem when…”. And at the bottom of the paper it says: “No name.” without guilt.”

Tip: Make sure the kids learn to write their problem in a sentence with no name attached. This will help filter the emotion and drama out of your issue by removing the “details.”

Tip: If you have young children who can’t write yet, give them a stack of magazines and a pair of scissors and ask them to cut out a picture of their problem. If you agree to write your problem for them, you will always be in charge of writing their problems.

  1. Solve 1 problem per meeting
  2. If it’s a problem for one person, it’s a problem for the family.
  3. Everyone contributes a solution, no one comments on the solution.
  4. Encourage your children to find the best solutions; parents can give solutions but THEY MUST BE BAD! As parents, we’re pretty good at finding solutions, so we don’t need practice.
  5. The person with the problem chooses the solution they would like to try for 1 week
  6. consensus voting

benefit

We give our children an allowance to teach them to: Save, Spend or Give

  • The assignment is not tied to behavior, grades, contributions, or anything else. It is an opportunity for our children to develop a healthy relationship with money while they are young!
  • Give allowance only when you have completed the entire family gathering.
  • Each child who attends the meeting receives an allowance of dollars equal to their age in years. For example, a three-year-old child receives $3. A six-year-old child receives $6.
  • At age 12, children are responsible for a greater share of their purchases. The allocation is cut in half.
  • At age 14, the purchases that children are responsible for increase and most children can work at this age, so the allowance disappears.
  • Once the money passes from your hands to the hands of the child, it is no longer your business.
  • Let your children forget about their money, lose their money, give it to their siblings, or whatever.
  • Do not remind children to bring their money and do not lend them money
  • Allow your children to develop their own relationship with money through trial and error. This is all about LEARNING.