Anyone who has met their twin flame knows that people who have not experienced this specific connection generally do not understand its magnitude or the unusual challenges that partners face.
Our friends try to help us, but in reality they do the opposite. Their advice, while hopefully well-meaning, is often wrong and, frankly, wrong.
Those who are not intuitive, spiritually aware or empathetic or who have not personally experienced a relationship on this level have no idea how these relationships are different from the “norm.”
These ties are strong, personal, and unique. It is impossible to say that all twin relationships follow the same pattern, it is not so. However, many of them share something in common. One or both, after a period of recognition and outward expression of love, develop very bad behavior. You may have heard the word “runner.” This refers to the partner who, after the initial period of bliss and devotion, abruptly changes behavior and becomes distant or leaves altogether.
When something so shocking to the soul happens, we lose our emotional balance. The couple (typically female, but not always) who have been “abandoned” by their partner has to find their way … and sort out what happened. That is why we look for our friends. But they don’t understand. They say “oh … he must be dating someone else” or “just forget about him / her. They are not worth it.”
I was able to make a comparison, and it’s not exactly correct, but it’s the closest I can think of to help describe this to someone who (1) hasn’t experienced it or (2) can’t feel it. energetically through intuitive / empathic skills.
If you’ve been a parent (or any adult who is in daily contact with and loves a child), you know what it feels like to be close to unconditional love. Possibly even real unconditional love. I have raised two sons and a daughter. Eleven years of being a single mother give me the authority to speak out on this topic: eventually that loving child turns into a donkey. It’s part of growing up, maturing, finding your independence, and sorting out how you fit in this world. A parent is their safe person, so the average child will misbehave at home even if they are near perfect at school, at other people’s homes, and on their sports teams. No matter how awesome your child is as a human being, chances are high that he will turn into a real poop at one point or another.
Remember how your son got on your lap and wanted nothing more than to snuggle with you, kiss you, play with your hair … just be with you. That amazing human being told you he loved you twenty times a day! That kid wanted you to come to every football, baseball, basketball, and school event. Their love for you shone outwardly and yours back to them.
Then one day they hate you. It is usually shortly after they stop showering.
The mom or dad who used to be a reliable source of information are now stupid.
The adolescent reaches a point where they may not talk to you at all or yell at you. My personal favorite, the look of shame. Instead of yelling at you, they hunch their shoulders, hang their head, and shake it from side to side so you REALLY know how pathetic you are.
But you love them. You love them because you know them. Whether you have physically given birth to them or not, you have watched them grow, develop, you know them in their essence. You know them better than anyone, because you know them from the beginning. You love them deeply and authentically because you know the “real” ones and you know that they are not perfect, but they are your amazing children, flaws and all.
You know when they hit this disgusting period, it’s just that. It is a behavioral phase. When they misbehave, when they don’t speak to you, they don’t seem to need you, it’s not their authentic self. It is they who find their way to what they are becoming. They trust you and know that you will be there for them. They just have to choose you, to choose you, they must be ready.
Sometimes they won’t say they love you during this period. That would make them drown. But they love you. They always have, the bond is unbreakable.
I remember telling my middle son when he was at his worst, “I’ll always love you, but I don’t like you at all right now!”
Sometimes your child’s behavior is so egregious that you, the one who is not misbehaving, must make a decision.
The same is true for twin flame relationships when the ‘running twin’ behavior is simply no longer acceptable to the ‘awake twin’. Once the awake twin knows for sure that it is a ‘cycle’ … that when the runner leaves, he has never really left and will always return, there is a comfort level. Where after the first few cycles there may be doubt, fear, worry that I would never see them again, now there is trust.
When the cycle has been repeated enough times, you know without a doubt what your bond is based on and that it is impossible to break it. As with your son.
What I think happens next to many is that the ‘awake’ twin is exhausted with the whole thing. Just like it’s hard to keep a family together when one person keeps testing your energy, (the angry and disgusting teenager) something has to change. You may decide to draw the line and tell that teenager (or twin flame) that while you love them and will always love them, their behavior is not acceptable.
Each family, each relationship is different, there is no correct answer, it will be personal and unique depending on your situation.
With a Twin Flame who professes her love and perhaps even acknowledges the depth of the connection, but chooses (even if she doesn’t understand why she does it) bad behavior, she may decide to walk away for a while, to give them a little distance to. Find out and be clear that love is not all that matters when we are in human form. Behavior is also an important part of a successful relationship. Those who know their twin will feel that behavioral choices come primarily from fear. Fear of taking risks and failing, fear and confusion from the intensity of what they are experiencing with you, etc. Fear is a topic for another day, but the source of the misbehavior is real and the twin is deeply sorry, even if the “awake” twin thinks it is ridiculous. While the Twin-Flames bond can never be broken, behavior is a choice and can be changed.
If the person you love deeply is your child, and that child you know on a soul level as the most amazing human being, is making bad decisions … would your friends tell you “he’s dating another mother”? Would they say “why are you bothering him / her? They are not worth it, forget it. Find someone else.”