With the emphasis on beautiful and fit, it’s hard to imagine anyone actually being afraid of being attractive. Unfortunately, it is a very common problem with people and weight loss. The overweight person is doing very well on his weight loss program. He has an excellent healthy eating plan that leads to slow and steady weight reduction. Clothes are getting looser. You feel better…then, whoops, you suddenly sabotage everything you’ve accomplished so far.

Reasons why some are afraid of being attractive

Can you think of some reasons why there would be a fear of being attractive? Some are:

  • Fear of physical intimacy.
  • Fear of emotional intimacy.
  • Fear of being sexually abused
  • fear of rejection

As you will notice, all the reasons have to do with fear.

fear of sexual intimacy

The way you grow up largely determines your beliefs about yourself and others. Some people grow up in an environment that proclaims that sexual relations are wrong except for procreation. Depending on how the person responds to such statements, they may fear that they will be damned for eternity if they enjoy having sex. What better way to prevent someone from finding you unattractive than to surround yourself with fat.

fear of emotional intimacy

This fear also stems from childhood home life. The person does not want the message from his parents. In fact, he or she will do anything to prevent it. What better way to prevent people from being attracted to you than to make yourself unattractive.

Fear of being sexually abused

Although similar, this is not the same as the fear of sex. The person may really want to have a sexual relationship, but he or she has been sexually abused and wants to avoid a repeat of it at all costs. Furthermore, being a victim of sexual abuse often leads to self-hatred. He feels dirty and unworthy. He proves this by making himself physically unattractive.

fear of rejection

Nobody likes to be rejected. Shame pierces the soul, whether you don’t get selected for a sports team or someone you like lets you know they don’t like you. When the fear of rejection is so strong, you do what you can to avoid it. You will make any kind of excuse for having to work so hard that you are not available to make yourself unattractive.

Residing in the Subconscious

People have a natural inclination to form relationships. Humans are made to be communal. Except for conscious decisions to be a hermit on a mountain, staying separate from others is on a subconscious level. It is due to wounds that prevent them from being free to form a relationship.

When you sabotage your weight loss out of fear of being attractive, you need to heal those hidden wounds. When the wounds are healed, you will have more success with weight loss.