While anger is a normal human emotion that deserves to be released from time to time, it is important to keep it under control to avoid adverse consequences. Many people can manage anger reasonably, but some just can’t.

For people who feel like their anger always flares up, to the point of hurting the feelings of others or even to the point of causing physical harm, anger management is vital. In fact, it is possible to control anger, as many of us already have, so that we can express anger in a way that does not dominate our lives or harm our relationships with others.

Anger, in and of itself, is not a bad form of emotion. It is normal to react with anger in some circumstances. If you have been treated inappropriately or feel that others have been unfair to you, you may rightly be angry. Anger management deals with the behaviors we exhibit when we are angry.

For example, it is acceptable to speak up if someone has hurt us. However, if it becomes repetitive to the point that others fear us or see us as unapproachable, then no matter how legitimate our complaints, we have lost.

Again, hitting objects sometimes results from angry outbursts, but if it becomes habitual or we resort to hitting other people, then we need to calm down and deal with it.

There are some common misconceptions regarding anger management, and we are going to address them one by one.

• Although anger should not be bottled up, aggressively letting anger out is not a healthy alternative, especially if it is actually directed at people.

• Then there are some people who use anger as a means to gain respect. That doesn’t hold up, because anger is highly unlikely to earn respect; it is more likely to foster fear and mistrust.

• Regarding management, there are people who think that anger cannot be managed. In fact, anger can be controlled; we can always choose how we express anger.

• Finally, anger is something that some of us think should be suppressed. That is unrealistic. Elimination of anger is not possible; it will emerge when we are pressed hard. The possibility of getting angry many times leads us to the question of expressing it adequately.

Before we explore how to manage anger properly, we need to examine the consequences of anger that is not controlled or managed well. Everything is ruined.

• We ruin our relationships with significant others, whom we may physically or emotionally hurt due to uncontrolled anger.

• We ruin our relationships with friends and colleagues, because we become intimidating and scary with our anger; we don’t come across as someone who is pleasant to work with.

• Lastly, anger expressed incorrectly ruins us, physically and mentally. We get stressed often, which increases the risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and many other diseases. We also become unable to think straight, concentrate properly, and solve problems.

Now that we know the importance of keeping anger under intelligent control, it is now our job to follow some anger management techniques. These are some of the ones we can follow:

• Make sure you know your behavioral signs of anger. When do you know that you are already getting angry? These signs will remind you that you are already getting angry, at which point you will stop, think, and find ways to express it constructively.

• Find ways to release anger. Get out of the situation that is making you angry. Then you can take a deep breath, exercise, read a book, or listen to relaxing music. That way, you can think about the situation in a more focused way.

• Find out what makes you angry. Do you find it difficult to award points or accept divergent points of view? Are you afraid of something or are you guilty of something and you are just using anger to cover it up? Take a good look at your feelings so you don’t have to resort to getting angry all the time.

When we find that anger is affecting us and our smooth relationships with others, then we should consider following some good anger management advice.