According to Ian Kerner, a sex therapist, he advises men to stimulate their partners to the point of orgasm before penetration. In this case, it won’t matter if the guy is prone to premature ejaculation, as both of you should be satisfied. But some men and their partners care a lot about how long it takes to ejaculate.
There are basically 3 types of ejaculation problems:
(1) Premature ejaculation, which affects up to a third of men, occurs before or shortly after penetration. For other guys, they just feel like they don’t last long enough to satisfy themselves and their partners.
(2) Delayed ejaculation, which probably affects only 3% of men, occurs when it is difficult for them to reach orgasm. This is probably due to some disease such as diabetes, prostate disease or fear of causing pregnancy. Some medications such as antidepressants cause this problem. For other guys, it’s due to age.
By adopting a masturbation technique that involves intense pressure, friction, and speed, some men condition themselves to respond to a level of stimulation that no partner could match. The way to overcome this is to break old habits to change the style of masturbation, such as changing hands. Michael A. Perelman, a sex and marital therapist, advocates a moratorium on masturbation that allows for a buildup of sexual desire that may provide a mechanism for lowering the arousal threshold necessary for orgasm.
(3) Retrograde ejaculation occurs when semen returns to the bladders instead of the normal exit through the genitals. This can be caused by diabetes, spinal cord injury, certain medications, and some surgeries. This can be done through medications that close the neck of the bladder, but the side effect is that it can increase blood pressure and heart rate, making this method of treatment unsuitable for men who have high blood pressure and Heart problems.
Ways to overcome premature ejaculation
One suggestion is to distract yourself, which is to think of something boring or disgusting to delay your orgasm. Although this may work for some guys, it will distance them from their partners and from the sexual experience.
Other forms are the action of pulling after penetration for a few minutes to postpone orgasm and the “squeeze-pause” technique which involves squeezing the tip of the genitals as orgasm approaches.
There is a recently approved drug called Priligy that works by increasing levels of serotonin, a chemical that inhibits ejaculation. This allows men to better control the moment of ejaculation. The usual side effect is that it can cause a headache in some men. This treatment is very expensive because a pack of three 30 mg tablets costs US$122. This only treats the symptoms but does not cure the underlying causes of premature ejaculation. So this is at best a temporary quick fix.
Instead of drugs, some men use a desensitizing cream to delay orgasm. There is an even easier way which is to double condoms to reduce stimulation.
A more feasible way is to use masturbation which can help men learn to control their level which is essential to delay orgasm. It’s a “dress rehearsal” for sex. Having repeated orgasms will cause delayed ejaculation. Some believe that the best advice for premature ejaculation is to have as many non-ejaculatory orgasms as possible per week.
Perelman advises men to fantasize about a sexual experience with their partners when they masturbate. He tells them to try to “approximate, in terms of speed, pressure, and technique, the stimulation you’re likely to experience through manual, oral, or vaginal stimulation with your partner.” However, once his fantasy turns you on, he tries to refocus on his body to notice how it feels and recognize the “tickling” sensation before ejaculation.
After becoming familiar with this feeling a few times, the next time you masturbate to this feeling, stop stimulation for at least 15 seconds before continuing to pleasure yourself. Gradually increase the number of times you stop stimulating yourself up to 6 in your next masturbation sessions.