The final stage of the midlife transition, according to Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung, is Individuation. The final stage of the process is to recognize and integrate the conflicts that have been part of this process. In reality, the conflicts do not end, but we learn a healthy balance.

Examples of such conflicts include:

  • conflict of authority – Who’s life is anyway? We strike a balance between accepting the authority of others when it is reasonable and learning to more fully take true authority over our own lives.
  • Will the Real xxx please stand up – Being and presenting ourselves the way others want to see us or think, speak, act and BE true to our authentic inner self.
  • self vs. Other Centered – Strike a healthy balance of meeting the demands of others while making sure we meet our own inner needs.
  • Making friends with our shadow – Confront our total self: our ideal self, as well as what has been called the shadow. The shadow consists of the parts of ourselves that we normally find unacceptable. These are things that we are often unaware of but project onto others.

Individuation is a process that leads to a more mature, balanced and ‘whole’ person. This often means developing the aspects of our personality that are opposite to one’s preferences. For example, someone who has been introverted, broad-thinking, and very logical and methodical, perhaps after pursuing a scientific career, may begin to develop an interest in activities such as enjoying relationships for their own sake, playing a sport for the sheer pleasure to do it. , spending more time with family and friends and coming to a deeper appreciation for all people of all types and backgrounds.

The five stages (of accommodation, separation, liminality, reintegration, and individuation) provide a framework for explaining the midlife transition, but not a rule to follow. We are, after all is said and done, deeply individualistic. Some can follow the stages linearly, others go in and out of them. Some people seem to take forever to find each other, and others (like those reading articles like this!) find it much faster. The amount of pain involved is purely a matter of the person’s attitude and appreciation of life as a continual journey and adventure. For those who are open to looking ahead, the process of change and development can be transformative.

It’s a fluid process, but recognizing the stages can help make sense of what might be seen as chaos and confusion. Understanding such stages might help some people move from thinking “there’s something wrong with me” to recognizing that what they are experiencing is quite natural and quite common. It always helps to know that we are not alone.