Men are often like a maze to us. One day we feel that we are completely on the right track because our boy seems happy and fulfilled. The next day comes and it seems like we’ve been lost in the dark as he backs off or becomes distant and judgmental. It’s hard to know how to react when your man’s mood changes and he doesn’t share what he’s feeling with you. Contrary to popular opinion, many men feel things very deeply. Men can also be incredibly fickle when it comes to love and romance. If your guy shuts down and doesn’t share what’s going on in his heart and head, you don’t have to keep feeling frustrated and lost. Women actually have an innate ability to make their man express what he feels. You just need to know what to do to make the man you love feel so close to you that sharing with you becomes normal, natural and extraordinarily comfortable.
Show him that you are totally and completely accepting of him.
One of the main reasons why many men do not share their feelings unconditionally with their partner is that they fear that they will not be accepted. If you are the type of woman who is painfully honest, that can work against you when it comes to building a strong communication connection with your man. Obviously, it is very important to always be as honest as possible within your relationship, but if your man feels that she is going to criticize him, he will back down and shut him out.
You can build a strong foundation of acceptance by showing him that you love him just the way he is. Don’t try to change the man he is and don’t make disparaging comments about him or the decisions he’s made in his life.
One area that can have a big impact on your own connection to your current love is if you’ve become someone who constantly reminds him how foolish it was to get involved with his ex-girlfriend. Many men have regrets when it comes to past loves and if you make fun of or point fingers at how reckless their biased decisions in love were, you are going to alienate them. You have to be willing to accept it as it is, warts and all. Once your man feels that he loves you, despite all the baggage he brings to your relationship, he will feel closer to you and he will be more likely to share your current feelings.
Create a comforting environment for him to share
If your world is always filled with drama, you’ll find that your man isn’t all that interested in sharing the intimate details of how he’s feeling. The reason is very simple. If he senses that you’re turning everything into a theatrical circus, he’s not going to want to get in the middle of it. If a man thinks his woman will overreact or emotionally, he will keep it all to himself. He doesn’t want to tell you that he’s not ready for a commitment or that he wants a break if he feels like you’re going to fall apart. You have to show him that you are emotionally mature enough to handle whatever he throws your way.
To accomplish this, it’s important to be prepared for any curveball that may be thrown your way. You always expect the unexpected from him. If he shares some feelings that are hard for you to absorb, tell him calmly. Just tell him that you appreciate his honesty but that you need some time to process what he just shared with you. If you can do this, he’ll be more inclined to share everything he’s feeling because he’ll know that you can handle it in a mature and rational way.
Don’t be too eager to always share your innermost feelings
One of the main obstacles that many couples must overcome is that one person is too quick, too eager or too assertive when it comes to sharing their feelings. Usually women take on this role. We feel so much for the man we are involved with that we allow the emotional floodgates to open and start reciting everything we feel.
If your man is not ready to share his feelings with you, he will feel cornered or pressured. If we’re being honest, we can agree that we have a certain level of expectation that comes with sharing our hearts with a man. At the very least, we expect him to reciprocate those sentiments. If he doesn’t, we feel embarrassed, he feels uncomfortable, and the whole dynamic of the relationship changes.
A good rule of thumb is to let him set the pace of the exchange of feelings. You may be concerned that this will result in confusion and a series of misunderstandings about what the relationship really is and where it is headed. When a man falls in love, he wants to share it with the woman of his desire. He wants to do that on his own schedule. He doesn’t want to feel pressured to say it before he feels completely ready. That’s why you have to accept the relationship for what it is, embrace the experiences you have, and show him that you are the type of woman who will give him the emotional space he needs to sort out his feelings. If you can master that, you’ll be well on your way to a deep connection with a man who feels you understand him. He will see you as someone who is ready, willing, and happy to wait for him to share his feelings when he feels ready.