Becoming a parent is usually greeted with much happiness and enthusiasm. It is a time of rejoicing, of anticipation and realization. Even movie stars, whose marriages are notorious for their brevity, wear their ‘belly bumps’ as a badge of honor. Kate Middleton’s pregnancy caused the royal family to smile and the media to drool over such a newsworthy event.
But Andrew and Penny Stanway, who conducted a study a few years ago, say in their essay “Choices About Childbirth” that 40% of women have mixed feelings about their pregnancy and 10% are positively upset. 70% of mothers are indifferent to their babies at birth, and four out of five feel that the image of motherhood is romanticized.
Some attitudes that cause lack of enthusiasm in parents:-
• The main cause is fear of the unknown. Mothers, family and friends exaggerate their own experiences of childbirth, the complications that can arise, and even the possibility of death. This gives the mother-to-be a distorted image of having a child as a dangerous disease to fear. Susan Arms in her book “Immaculate Deception” says that women are fooled into believing in “safe” childbirth. Even the Bible refers to the pain of childbirth as a curse for Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.
• Fear that the child is abnormal or has various disabilities.
• Doubts about the competence or maturity to be a father.
• Fear of greater responsibility. This shows a measure of selfishness, as parenting is time consuming and a full time job.
• Loss of freedom. Children are seen as an imposition or a nuisance that requires changes in lifestyle and relationships, especially with the spouse, due to lack of time.
• If the child is conceived through rape or a loveless relationship, the woman develops a subconscious resentment against the child growing in her womb.
• The lack of marital or family support deprives a woman of the excitement of having a child. Single mothers make up about 10-15% of all pregnant women. Not everyone is happy with their pregnancy. There may also be financial concerns.
• Loss of beauty. During the different stages of pregnancy, the woman loses her well-formed figure. Her weight increases, her legs swell, her blood pressure may rise. In the first months, she may be tormented by vomiting. The excessive pigmentation of her skin, especially on her face, makes her feel ugly.
How to deal with indifferent parents:-
1. Education: The purpose of education is to obtain accurate information about the anatomy, physiology, and functions of the body during pregnancy and childbirth; to dispel myths, superstitions and ‘old wives’ tales’ about pregnancy. God has bestowed an amazing honor on women, making them co-creators with Him by bringing life into this world. This compensates for all the difficulties and discomfort during pregnancy.
2. Encouragement: Young couples should develop a positive attitude toward pregnancy. Conflicts in relationships between spouses must be resolved before contemplating pregnancy. If the relationship is on rocky ground, pregnancy can only stress and tear you apart. It is important that both husband and wife are involved in the welfare of the unborn child. The husband has an obligation to support his wife. Parenting requires maturity, mutual fidelity, and a willingness to make adjustments when necessary.
3. Enthusiasm: Fatherhood is a godsend for couples. Improve the quality of their lives. The excitement and anticipation of a new addition to the family should be maintained throughout the pregnancy. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “This time, as always, is very good, if we only know what to make of it.” Spouses should emotionally embrace each other. They must cultivate inner strength and stability, trusting in God, the giver of life.
“Children are an inheritance from the Lord, and a reward for the fruit of the womb.” Psalm 127:3
Kate Wiggins, a mother says, “Every child is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility.”
The job of being a parent is a challenge to be accepted and a responsibility to be enjoyed. It is an opportunity to grow and mature emotionally. Happy couples make happy parents. There are many reasons to be excited.