Have you ever wondered why people treat you the way they do? A lot has to do with how you are perceived by others. Let me give you an example, years ago when I lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, I would often drive all the way to Canada to visit clients along The King’s Highway 401 in lower Ontario. My entry and exit point was Detroit and I would take the Ambassador Bridge or the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel to and from Canada. Regardless of the route I took, I found that customs officers would always ask me to pull over to the side where I would have to put up with the hassle of a search. This went on for years until I realized that it was probably my behavior and the look on my face that got me stopped, that I was tired and grumpy. As an experiment, I approached the customs officers with a smile on my face, window rolled down, and was very talkative and approachable with them. Surprisingly, they let me through without any problem and never stopped me again.

The point is that we act primarily based on our perceptions, right or wrong, and regardless of the facts. The way we are perceived by others is the basis by which others judge us, both in our personal and professional lives. In my experience, there are three attributes that people use to judge each other:

1. Social stature: represents our pedigree and, consequently, our place in society. People naturally act differently with someone who is perceived as cultured and refined compared to someone seen as “trailer trash.” It’s kind of like the difference in how people act in church compared to a classroom. This is also indicative of why we distinguish people by class (high/medium/low) and how we delineate workers as blue collar/white collar. People like to know what the pecking order is, whether in their personal or professional life, so they can act accordingly. It denotes such things as superior/subordinate/equal relationships, thus defining who we can dominate, who we can’t, and with whom we must coexist.

2. Intelligence – This is an important factor in judging a person, particularly in the workplace where we are tested based on our knowledge, skill set, and ability to take directions. We are perceived as someone who can quickly understand and implement concepts and techniques, rather than someone who has trouble taking instructions and learning something.

3. Character: Beyond intelligence is the perceived character of the individual, which consists of their ethical makeup, dedication, and drive, along with their history of actions and decisions made. This denotes the integrity, trustworthiness and responsibility of the person. Unlike intelligence which denotes what a person is capable of doing, character defines what the person will actually do. Let me give you an example, I met a brilliant guy with a photographic memory in the engineering department of a manufacturing company. His IQ scores were always way above everyone else’s, but he had trouble applying his intellect. Instead, the company used him as nothing more than a walking encyclopedia that could rattle off complicated formulas and algorithms at a moment’s notice, but had no idea how to use this knowledge in practice.

It is these three attributes, used in concert, that we use to evaluate someone, personally or professionally. They are the determining factors we use to communicate with someone, socialize with them, invest trust and delegate responsibilities. Managers use these elements to determine what a worker is capable of doing and assign relevant responsibilities. It’s also what we use to size up a new neighbor, or meet someone for the first time socially or professionally. Simply put, it’s what we use to “measure people.”

We all need to be aware of how we are perceived by others and adjust where necessary to fit into the corporate or local culture, but we also need to be wary of people who mask their weaknesses by appearing or acting like someone they are not. I used to have a gentleman who worked for me in Customer Services who dressed to the teeth, was very strict on social etiquette, and was a pretty smart guy. The only problem was that he had a poor performance. He talked a good game, but he was never able to produce anything on time or to the satisfaction of our customers. He was a past master of facade, not substance.

Again, the point here is that people are judged by perceptions first, then facts (ask the tabloids if you don’t believe me). Appearances are important and should be cultivated, whether in the workplace or in our private lives, but we must also know that appearances can be deceiving, and as such, we must also cultivate a track record of performance and credibility. Just remember, we are judged by all three attributes mentioned, not just one or two. Appearances mean little if people can see through the disguise.