Regardless of the form of self-help or therapy (NLP, law of attraction, gestalt therapy, psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc.), there is one thing everyone is trying to do: get out of their own way. And this is the great secret of all branches of personal development: if you get out of your own way, almost (and maybe) anything is possible.
What do I mean by “getting in your own way”? Well, I mean that literally and figuratively: In a literal sense, people often stop themselves from doing things by literally stopping (e.g., stop walking toward something, wonder what to do, ponder negative possibilities , then turn around and walk away). ); however, in a figurative sense, people stop like this before getting into the situation: they reflect on it, they think about it in a very negative way, and then they decide not to do it.
And for starters, people often do this right after considering a wish: “I really want to kiss that beautiful woman who sits next to me in class, not only is she insightful and brilliant, but she has the most kissable lips ever.” . I would not do it”. Would that be great?”… (Now, you sigh, and you have a “reality check”.) “Yeah, that would be great, okay. But of course that would never happen. A guy like me, I’m too… (insert your negative self-talk about why you’re unlovable here) for a girl like that.”
Okay, now that you understand what it means to get in your own way, what do I mean by “get out of your own way”? Well, in a nutshell, it’s the opposite of the above: not hindering yourself with negative beliefs, actions, or feelings.
Now how do you do that? How to get out of your own way?
It’s very simple to get out of your own way – find all the ways it gets in your own way and then stop it! And at first, that sounds like sarcasm, and even though it is, it’s serious sarcasm: all you need to do to get out of your way is get out of your way; however, you didn’t need this article to tell you that: it’s evident from the argument that your life is better off if you stop getting in your own way.
So here are some ways to get out of your own way.
First, whenever you are going to do something and then want to postpone it, do it right away with a due date and time limit. Procrastination is the main way people keep themselves from the life they really want. Which is deeply unfortunate because procrastination is one of the most beneficial things the human mind can do – we just use it to sabotage ourselves instead of helping ourselves in the same way a rich heroin addict uses his money to damage their lives and hold back. . So instead of procrastinating on the task you want to do (you do want to do it, after all), procrastinate wanting to procrastinate or feel bad; this latest skill has changed my life… on a timer and a deadline – you’ll really be amazed at the results.
Second, every day, write down 15 or more things you are grateful for. These can be simple things like “I live in a hospital environment”, “there is enough oxygen present in the atmosphere to support my life”, “there is enough water to support my life”, especially if things are really bad right now. But if things are a little better, then you have more to be thankful for, “I have a Bently” or “I live in my dream house”. Regardless of what level of appreciation you are at, however, the act of appreciation itself will not only temporarily put you in a more positive frame of mind, it will train your mind to look for the positive aspects of your experience.
Third, when you notice that you are holding yourself back from doing something, for example if you want to ask someone out but you are nervous, focus on the feeling of nervousness or whatever it is that is stopping you and say “enough! “. Immediately replace the thought with something else. I find it really helpful to say “stop” like MC Hammer does in the song “Hammer Time” so my mind instantly jumps to that. And I’ve found similar success with stops like “Stop in the Name of Love.” There’s something interesting going on in your mind when you start a pattern and don’t finish it like, “stop at the name…”