We’ve all worked for a crazy boss. But when your entrepreneurial boss throws a chair across the office and you should probably think, bethis is not a stable boss.

But then again, he didn’t throw away the meat did you. So it’s okay, right?

It’s not the kind of behavior that would be tolerated at, say, IBM, but in the sometimes bizarre world of startups, it is accepted. Almost expected. In fact, mischief often becomes part of office lore. Remember the time —insert here the name of the boss of the employer— burn down the office? Forgot to wear shoes to work? He disappeared for a whole week?

The stories are retold to new hires who weren’t there during the “crazy times.” And those new hires lament the fact that they missed out on the turmoil.

The question is why.

I worked for the furniture launcher. I also worked for barefoot Joe Jackson. And in college I worked for an entrepreneurial restaurateur who would lay off the entire staff on a regular basis. At least one busy Saturday night a month I would show up drunk at the restaurant and fire everyone. Including two of his own children.

We would all show up to work the next day and laugh as we told the story to coworkers who weren’t lucky enough to be a part of the chaos.

“Yeah, he fired us last night. Again.”

This particular gem of a boss once waved a meat cleaver in the faces of a shocked suburban family as he kicked them out of his restaurant for returning an appetizer.

We tell that story a lot.

But why do we stay?

ties that bind A study by the Corporate Executive Board of 20,000 employees found that workers are more likely to stay in a job if they feel connected to the company’s strategy. Even longer if the employee is in a position to help solve some of the company’s biggest challenges.

Connection with the company? Check. Nowhere are employees more connected to their company than in the sink-or-swim environment of a start-up. And feel that you contribute to solving the company’s problems? Check that box too. The phrase “hands on” doesn’t come close to describing it. In a commissioning environment, all hands are needed to keep the deck above water.

But do we still feel this connection even if our boss’s behavior is intolerable? The answer is yes.

stuck in stockholm Combine a strong feeling of connection with the constant adrenaline rush of launching a business and you’ve got Startup Stockholm Syndrome. No, it is not an actual certified medical condition. I just made it up. But I think it’s appropriate, even if it sounds a bit extreme.

There are very basic emotions involved in Stockholm Syndrome; fear and self-preservation. Newspaper heiress Patty Heart was said to have suffered from Stockholm Syndrome when she wielded an assault rifle while she robbed a bank with her captors. She certainly didn’t need the money. And when she was released, she defended her kidnappers.

It boils down to the psychological change that occurs when someone receives threats and kindness from the same source, choosing to believe that acts of kindness are more representative of the offender’s true self.

Usually they are not. Neither in the case of real captors, nor in the case of a boss who throws away office furniture. Or verbal darts. Or any other treatment that makes you want to run screaming out of the building or crawl back into your mother’s womb.

Despite this fact, some enthusiastic startup employees can become emotionally trapped in a situation that is anything but healthy. Start-up Stockholm Syndrome.

look at some comparisons.

  • In Stockholm Syndrome, captors keep their victims isolated from the outside world. (When was the last time you had free time with people who don’t work?)
  • In Stockholm Syndrome, captors make it clear that they can inflict mental or physical pain. (Do you go to meetings afraid your boss will make you look like a jerk? Are you afraid you’ll get fired? Do staff walk on eggshells, not knowing what the mood will be today? Live in fear) .
  • In Stockholm Syndrome, the captors hold the keys to life. (Your enterprising boss writes your check; he feeds you, clothes you, and houses you. The keys to life.)

See what I mean? Basic criteria are met.

Take the Stockholm Syndrome Quiz for Startups So are you captivated by your work or are you captive? Take our Quiz and see for yourself.