Kamal finalized the program to attend the evening show directly from the office. He couldn’t afford to miss it. I had known the actress and director, only on the big screen, for quite some time, and she was famous for making artistic and serious films, both in Hindi and a regional Indian language. He watched most of his movies from his college days and always enjoyed them. Today’s is a special screening of his latest Hindi film, perhaps a first-class show, just days before the theatrical release. Kamal knows that serious movies like this never deserve a glamorous premiere or commercial release, and therefore these special screenings are a boon for discerning moviegoers. He was particularly happy with the fact that the filmmaker would be present there in person. His entry pass was for two. His wife of two years of marriage previously expressed her inability to do so on that particular day. So, he asked his best friend-colleague to accompany him. The friend agreed, but due to a last minute compromise he finally expressed regret as well.
Kamal didn’t mind going alone, because it was better to just enjoy those thought-provoking movies. He wanted to leave the office early, but was delayed a bit due to an important visitor arriving late. Finally free, he rushed to the bus stop and was immediately grateful to receive it. Even if the bus takes half an hour in this rush hour, it should make it to the show on time, he thought. And he made it to the large auditorium on time.
As was natural in serious movies, the show was organized in the mini auditorium on the ground floor. Without bothering to look at the people still drinking tea and talking in the living room, Kamal immediately entered and was again pleased to have a very good seat in the back. The show started on time after a short introduction from the actor and director. He really enjoyed watching. More so, because there was no interval since the film lasted about an hour and a half. After the movie ended, he continued to sit for some time, thinking about it and enjoying the precious moments of the movie. Finally, he came out completely satisfied and with a pair of somewhat misty eyes.
He saw various groups of people engaged in a lively discussion in the room, bright and well lit now. He pondered for a moment about sipping a cup of tea from the busy counter. But, he mused, why spend so much while I’ll get a better cup of tea made at the roadside stall for a fraction of the price here?
As he moved towards the exit, he suddenly saw the actor-director surrounded by a much larger group. She looked beautiful and heavenly under the lights despite being in her fifties, and Kamal found that a determination was rapidly evolving within him. Yes, he always wanted to meet her. I had so many things to discuss and say to her, and much appreciation to convey to her. On today’s film in particular, I wanted to congratulate you and eagerly wanted to tell you my opinion, already delicately shaped in your mold of appreciation of cinema. With steadfast determination within him, Kamal began to loiter approaching that target group. Finally, coming to a conveniently closer place, he took two firm steps toward her and froze. She was staring at him with intent and an unwavering gaze.
Normally, such a look from a very important lady would have pleased him immensely. But something in that gaze disturbed him and caused an unpleasant agitation in him. She was looking at him as if she was going to devour him right there. Kamal seemed to perceive but not quite sure of that: that there was an abominable carnality in the look. He got scared. An overwhelming premonition of danger enveloped him. Kamal made another decisive resolution.
He shot out of the room and almost ran toward the bus stop. Once more satisfied, he quickly got it done and also got a window seat. And her mind raced: was she right about the look? Have my feelings for your gaze reflected your feelings for me? He wasn’t really sure. However, he reflected, gut feelings are mostly correct and must always be respected, respected, I must have done the right thing. As the bus sped toward the local train station, where he would catch a direct train home, three options for the subject at hand flashed through his mind.
First, your instincts are genuine. Second, she might have been interested in him from a movie point of view, that is, possibly casting him into her future projects. And third, both options are correct. Now, Kamal embarked on a cost-benefit analysis.
Option 1: do the right thing … your wife’s innocent face constantly appears and disappears; she’s actually carnivore or omnivore or whatever; or cadaverous? shit, that’s the wrong word! firm conclusion, escaped. Option 2: here you must have missed an opportunity; He does not boast of being young and handsome, people say, especially the most just; firm conclusion, painfully lost. Option 3: she is interested in him so much because of him sensuality angle and the foundry possibility; must have won here too … yes … innocent face of wife … yes … missed a chance … no … wife … break … no … yes; firm conclusion, nothing firm; Damn it all!