Traverse City, Michigan
Traverse City has become a hot summer destination. Its fame goes beyond the National Cherry Festival and its abundant wineries. It is also known as Michigan’s Golf coastBut the biggest attraction this summer was on Lake Michigan Wednesday morning when Father Earl Knickers caught a massive 40-pound mackerel, breaking the old record set 3 years earlier by “Shitlips” McGee by 38 pounds.
After a 2-hour battle with the fish, Father Bragas, in what appeared to be an unsuccessful attempt, looked up at the sky, winked, and with all his might, lifted the fish out of the deep blue waters in his boat. “It was a dream come true,” said the priest. “I have given so much in my life and I have asked so little. But this is something that I needed for myself,” said Father Braguitas.
Moments before the fight between the priest and the fish ended, other participants had seen the priest in a verbal altercation with the fish. One fisherman, Mark Elios, described the scene: “I was fighting the fish, when he suddenly launched into a tirade and yelled, ‘Fuck you on this boat! I’ve given up the meat in Lent and had sex.’ ‘With the women! I’m not giving this up! Come here, you agitated bastard!’ “
After news of the priest’s uproar in the water reached the dock, a few cheered him and others booed him. “There are children here!” yelled one of the mothers in the contest.
A short time later, the mackerel, hanging upside down on the dock, expressed disapproval by saying, “It’s bad enough that he tricked me with bait, which by the way tasted terrible, then he threw me for God knows how long, but then I was he chided in front of everyone. I’m more upset about that, than being gutted in a few minutes. ” The mackerel then called the contest judges to file a complaint.
“I empathize with the fish, but I went through the rule book and there is nothing about disqualification for foul language,” said Tim Reilly, a local judge in the competition for the past 8 years. After taking some photos for the local newspaper and signing some autographs, Father Bragas grabbed a bottle of champagne, fashioned it like a fish mallet, and tossed the mackerel next Tuesday. We will have more information on the condition of the mackerel on Wednesday.