book review on becoming a wise baby

In fact, I’m a little nervous about reviewing this book. This highly debated approach to parenting is usually either loved or hated. Baby Wise uses an eat-play-sleep cycle and parent-directed feeding. Eat-play-sleep is simply getting your child to eat, getting your child stimulated for a while (the length of time depends on age), and then getting your child to sleep until it’s time to feed again. Baby Wise states that most babies do not sleep well and that it is important to have a regular feeding and sleeping schedule for your child. Baby Wise also claims that babies will sleep through the night by 8 weeks if she uses this method. Although the book states that direct parent feeding is not a clock or demand feeding approach, you will soon understand through further reading that it is basically a clock feeding approach with a little wiggle room.

Pros: There is a lot of good advice for parents and I have found it helpful to read Baby Wise. I try to use an eat-play-sleep cycle (not like Baby Wise does, see Cons). Baby Wise is strict about teaching babies to fall asleep on their own. I don’t nurse my son to sleep, and I personally think it’s healthy for babies to learn to fall asleep without the help of others. When my little one was born, I used a feed-on-demand approach. I use more of a clock feeding approach now because I have learned how often you need to eat and it is good to have a schedule. This transition was slow and a learning process for me.

Another thing I appreciate about Baby Wise is her caution to instinctively feed her child when she’s crying. If my little girl is crying and she’s not likely to be hungry, feeding her may end up being worse for her. It could be gas or colic or something else. It might also mask the real reason for her irritability. Personally, she doesn’t initially feed her when she’s picky. I want to find the root cause.

Cons: I think the reason this book is loved or hated is because of the rigidity of its approach. If you don’t have success with this method after weeks or months of trying, many people will become bitter and think it’s all nonsense.

First of all, I will say that my baby sleeps wonderfully through the night; she has done this since 7 weeks. (I know I’m hurt.) This is not because of Baby Wise. She hadn’t even read the book then. I like the eat-play-sleep cycle. My baby eats, then plays, and then sleeps, but doesn’t sleep until her next feeding. I have tried and tried to get my little one to take naps longer than 45 minutes. she won’t Eat, play, sleep, play, sleep (sometimes), then eat.

My son is not a sleepyhead. He does not meet the “expectations” of the Baby Wise method. At first that made me feel like a failure because I heard all the stories from parents who were so excited about how good the methods in the book are.

Baby Wise leaves no room for individual differences in a baby’s personality or habits. Yes, I certainly believe that babies are different even when they are so young. Not all children fit the Baby Wise mold. That’s my biggest critic after reading the book and trying his methods. My other precaution is to use the parent-directed feeding approach (basically clock feeding). Until you know your child, I would not recommend clock feeding. And really always be flexible with your schedule based on your child’s needs.

Price: You can find this book for $15 or less. The Kindle version costs around $10. Used can be cheaper.

I could talk a lot more about this book, its criticisms and its praise, but if you’re that interested, read it for yourself. I think you will find it useful. If your child doesn’t fit the Baby Wise mold, don’t worry. Certainly DO NOT base your parenting skills on this book. However, it is worth reading.

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